Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Answered Prayers?

Here we go. A full blown WINTER STORM WATCH has been issued for the Front Range of this absolute gem of a state we call Colorado. I can't be sure, but I think this is the first one of aught nine and it has me as giddy as the paparazzi that chase the Octomom.

The prospect of 6+ inches of snow excites me. Does it excite you? I bet it does. It should. We've been on a collective dry spell for the past six months and it's high time we scored. Hoggin' has never potentially felt so good, has it? Watching Kathy gently caress the Colorado/New Mexico border tonight (showing the predicted path of the Low Pressure) nearly brought me to orgasm. I'll even forgive the fact that both she and Marty were predicting only a light snow on Thursday as recently as last night if they're (and every other weather predicting service) correct with their heavy snowfall prediction.

But if they're wrong, may God/Allah have mercy on their pitiful meteorlogical souls. I will wish death/termination of employment upon them all. Too often this winter/early spring they have hoped for and promised moisture only to leave us, the proud citizen, looking like saps for believing a single word that comes out of their moufs. No more. We will FIX THEY MOUFS! We will rise up like a collective centipede and crawl all over their pathetic but well groomed faces. I'm depending on you to rise up with me, so don't let me down, OK?

That's enough for now. No sense counting predictions before they're broadcast on local television stations. I'll be back tomorrow with more as we lead up to THE STORM OF THE LAST YEAR OF THE DECADE.


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