Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Giving Up This Boring Mid 60s Weather Watching For Lent

A friend of mine says he saw Jay Cutler out a bar recently and remarked that "he had no presence." These words gave me great pause and caused tremendous concern, because a piece of me believes he is correct in his observation of Mr. Cutler. Could it be? Does he have no soul? Worse, does he have no ego?

I don't want to let myself believe it. I refuse to let myself believe it. He as all the god damned presence he needs back there in that pocket before firing laser-guided, side-winding, rib-splitting, finger-breaking missiles into the clutches of our cocksure receivers. So what if he doesn't command the ass kissing of Denver's white collar crowd? I can think of much worse things.

What my friend meant (I think) is that you wouldn't have known Cutler was there even if you were standing next to him at the bar ordering double Jack Daniels(TM), neat. My friend also asked, "Do you think you would ever be in a bar with John Elway and not know it?" That really made me think. Probably not.

In his early years, as I recall, old Johnny Ballgame was moderately successful and I'm pretty sure he devoured every ounce of praise he got from all of Denver's residents - be they bartenders, barbers or sleek women. He grabbed this town by its short and curlies from the very start and didn't let go until he shaved them all off using only a straight razor and the reflection of two Vince Lombardi trophies. And I thank him for it each and every day.

Where was I? Oh yeah . . . the old comparison game between the new QB in town who has diabetes, Bama bangs and a rocket launcher for an arm with the old hero/statesman who also once had floppy hair, an affinity for hunting rabbits, and a rocket launcher for an arm. I can't do it anymore. Every quarterback that ever comes here is compared to Sir Elway and it's not fair. I won't be a part of it. Plus, I get the feeling that Jay's a delicate fellow and anything negative written here may push him right over the edge. I don't want to be responsible for that. A man self destructing by his own hand is one thing, but being pushed into despair by respected media such as FKS is quite another.


Happy Fat Tuesday by the way. It was a nice one. Sixty six degrees. It's been a mild winter . . . as was evidenced by the menacing brush fires today. Fucking La NiƱa. And yes, I'm aware it snowed freakishly Friday night but shit, it was the weekend. Old Flip needed some time and drink at the local pubs with the gentry and other damaged folk. Call it an All Star Break. But I'm not at all fooled by this heat . . . snowy times lay ahead. I know it. You know it. But does Kathy Sabine know it? Probably yes, but we shall see. I heard she was giving up models for lent.

Be Warm, Stay Cool and Never Sweat,
Flip T. Washington

Monday, February 16, 2009

Leipz . . . ahhhhhhhhh

This is why dominates all other online weather prediction services. Altieri could learn a thing or two about the passion and the intensity that should go along with predicting the weather.


Friday, February 13, 2009


Image time stamp: Fri Feb 13 11:01:00 MST 2009

The picture above comes from and is from a camera on I-76 near Sterling. This is what the current article on, updated by Ashton "Pees Sitting Down" Altieri himself, reads:
The northeastern Plains of Colorado will see widespread snow through late Friday morning. Locations such as Sterling, Julesburg, Akron, and Holyoke are under a WINTER STORM WARNING until noon for a total of 4 to 8 inches of snow. Wind gusts over 20 mph will create blowing and drifting snow. Travel could become difficult along Interstate 76 east of Fort Morgan.
Here are some other shots from the Northeast portion of our state:



Not good . . . unless 4-8 inches comes down within the next hour, I'd say this forecast was an outright dud. And the people are none too pleased about it if the comments on the 9news story are any indication:

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Shennan wrote:
Ashton give it up you cannot predict right just put down expect snow and leave it at that. I am north of I70 in the foothills and have only a wee bit. Better luck next time.

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gobroncos wrote:
I live in a area that was predicted 4-8 inches, and NOT 1 snow flake. I will never forget what I learned in middle school. A teacher once said that 80% will get you through school, but 80% in the working world will set you up for many failures. (Ed. note - I have no idea what this means)

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agentdad wrote:
Not a flake in Arvada---only flakes are in the 9NEWS weather department---

And it's probably not fair just to single out 9News, because it seems everyone missed the boat. Probably because they all look at the exact same models and not a one of them is ever willing to go out on a limb and be an individual. Why wouldn't take a chance at this point? It's not like they're ever reprimanded for being wrong anyway.

Check out Ed Greene acting the fool right now on News4:
The heavier snow has definitely been across the eastern plains around Yuma and Burlington. Winter Storm Warnings are still in place there until noon.
Here's a picture from Stratton, only a few miles from Burlington:

Image time stamp: Fri Feb 13 11:25:36 MST 2009

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Snow Forecast Round-Up

9News: According to 9NEWS Meteorologist Ashton "Pees Sitting Down" Altieri, snow will develop along the Front Range late Thursday evening and could continue at times through the Friday morning commute. The Denver, Boulder and Aurora areas should see less than 1 inch of accumulation. Locationas farther to the north including Fort Collins, Loveland and Greeley will likely see a total of 2 to 5 inches of accumulation.

7News: More snow is likely to fall in the mountains, adding another possible 4-10 inches. A chance for a brief period of snow in the Denver Metro area will bring 1-2 inches of accumulation and 2-5 inches of snow is expected for the foothills north of Denver. The heaviest snow still looks to be over northeastern Colorado. Projected snow fall totals for the northeast corner of the state include 4-10 inches.

Fox31: Sunshine today . . . but clouds increase tonight as our next winter storm moves into the state. This storm will bring moderate to heavy snow to the mountains through Friday where another 4-8" will fall in areas north of I-70. Snow will eventually spread east onto the plains late tonight into Friday morning. The heaviest snowfall should be over the Northeastern plains (NE Weld, Morgan, Washington, Yuma, Logan Sedgwick & Phillips Counties) where 4-7" are possible, with a few locations getting into the 6-10" range in extreme NE Colorado and Nebraska. Expect a range of 1-3" well north of Denver into Fort Collins and Greeley. The snow potential for the rest of the Front Range & Denver area is much lower, with amounts up to 1" by midday Friday. - Chris "The Pasty Meteorologist" Dunn

News4: Northeastern Colorado is under a Winter Storm Warning from tonight until Friday afternoon. Cities like Ft. Morgan, Sterling, Yuma, Holyoke and Julesburg could see between 6-10 inches of snow. The closer you are to the line of Interstate 70 the less snow you will have. Cities like Limon can expect around 2-5 inches. In Denver, we will have up to 2 inches, but it will last into Fridday morning during the commute. Farther north toward Ft. Collins, expect 2-4 inches of snow. The foothills will get about 3-5 inches between 6,000 and 9,000 feet. - Stacey "Boom Boom" Donaldson Chance of snow showers late in the eveing . . . then snow showers likely after midnight. Snow accumulation up to 1 inch. Lows in the lower 20s. Southeast winds 10 to 20 mph becoming northeast winds 10 to 15 mph around midnight. Chance of snow 60 percent. Thursday night - Mostly cloudy and breezy with a bit of snow, accumulating a coating to an inch . . . Friday morning - A bit of snow in the morning, up to 1"; otherwise, mostly cloudy and breezy. Thursday night - Variable clouds with snow showers. Low 24F. S winds shifting to WNW at 10 to 15 mph. Chance of snow 70 percent. About one inch of snow expected . . . Friday morning - Scattered snow showers during the morning. Then partly to mostly cloudy for the afternoon. High 33F. Winds NNE at 10 to 15 mph. Chance of snow 30 percent.

All official and unofficial FKS weather spotters should be on the third highest alert level and can report their findings at their convenience.

Be Advised

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Measure This

I've been laying low in the hopes that my silence would encourage Mother Nature to ease up on her recent "no precipitation" policy. You're welcome. We received, by my observations, exactly two extremely isolated showers on Sunday evening measuring not even 1/16th of an inch of rain. It was glorious. I wish you would've been here to experience it. Maybe you were.

Anyway, things have been awfully quiet on the weather front here in Ye Olde Mile High. Sure, we had another round of Spring-like weather last week, but it wasn't quite as good as the previous one (no record high temps) and I refuse to write about substandard weeks of unseasonable warmth. That doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it, however. I did. Very much so. I hope you did as well. Jennifer Zeppelin of News4 says it's the "5th driest snow season so far in 30 years." That's the actual headline of her story. It confuses me. But I get the message. It's dryer than an elderly porn star.

Mainly I've been pondering an issue very near and dear to my heart. If you're like me, and I hope to Christ's mother you're not, you've often wondered why the official snowfall measurement for the city of Denver is done at Denver International Aiport and not somewhere closer to town. For the uninitiated, DIA (which has the most bad ass sculpture(which killed its sculptor) of any airport in the world) is roughly 25 miles from the center of the great metropolis of Denver. But in terms of climatology, the airport is a world away.

I'm not going to get into it because it's boring as shit, but rest assured that the weather that occurs in downtown Denver is often quite a bit different than what's going on out at the airport. The proximity to the mountains, elevation and amount of concrete/buildings all play a factor, but I would guess that the actual high and low temperatures differ between downtown and DIA almost 248 times a year.

During the summer, the highs at the airport are generally cooler than the highs in the city which often deprives us of hard earned record high temperatures. Summer is already irritating enough, the least we can get for our troubles is a few records. But noooooo . . . we have play by the rules of the government . . . at least that's what 9News would have us believe:
Denver’s official temperature along with all other weather information including snowfall is recorded at DIA because commercial airports are the origin of regular weather observations in the United States. This is mandated by the National Weather Service and the Federal Aviation Administration. 9NEWS is not involved in the process of determining the location of official weather observation stations.
That is complete and utter bullshit in my humble estimation. How does such a thing make sense? Especially with all measurements before 1995 occurring a scant seven miles from the city (at the old Stapleton airport)? Our climatology records are going to be more twisted than the psychological records of Jon & Kate's eight kids in 30 years. There's no continuity and that just can't be a good thing. Studying the climate is all based on static measurements - not switching the location by 20 miles every so often. Damn it!

It would seem to me in this technologically advanced and instant information world that it would be OK to have an official measuring station somewhere in the city and then another one 25 fucking miles away at the airport. That doesn't seem like too much to ask for. Hell, according to 7News, they already kind of do this with the snowfall measurements:
Although the official weather measurements for Denver are made at the Denver International Airport, official snow observations for the city are still made at the old Stapleton Airport.
See, what's wrong with that? Nothing. That's what. Let's just go ahead and set up two different stations to measure weather here in our fine town. One can be at the airport and the other will be on the roof of my apartment. Let's make this happen. I'm going to write and email to Egger and see what she thinks. I'll keep you posted.Anyway, looks like a chance of flurries/light snow this evening so if you have to get out on the roads, leave work early and tell them Flip told you it was OK. No one is predicting over two inches or under a trace - but that doesn't mean you shouldn't sneak out of the job when you have the chance. Good luck.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Happy Groundhog Day

The little rodent predicts there's going to be six (6) more weeks of winter. I am predicting a mere 4.1 weeks.