Showing posts with label chunky snow. Show all posts
Showing posts with label chunky snow. Show all posts

Friday, March 26, 2010

Shit Rolls, Piss Trickles

The snow was difficult and thick Tuesday night . . . like your mom . . . or the air at a Bingo parlor. There were times when I could barely see 57 yards in front of me - even with my Swiss-Swedish snow goggles on. Oh I fuckin' got 'em . . . please don't doubt that. Extreme weather data collection demands only the finest equipment:

As I mentioned in the previous post, my forthright and earnest expedition for fresh weather data devolved into a fog of bourbon and belly laughs with friends new and old. It was the right thing to do. Sure, I could've stood outside all night measuring and observing snow, but I generally prefer being inside measuring pints and observing the fairer sex. Just like Jimmy Cantore taught me.

Still, I encountered some fine sights on my travels. Behold:

These (click to enlarge - which is what I also tell the ladies) were shot at the new weather center on top of FKS headquarters. I think you'll agree when you visit, it's got real promise. It also has a BBQ grill with limitless propane.

These came on my walk home. I cut a lot of fresh tracks, which never ceases to make me feel fine. When I got back to headquarters, I stuck my forearm into the most undrifted patch of snow I could find. It came up nearly to my elbow, which I estimate to be 8.9 inches long. That's a healthy snow in just seven hours time. I have no idea if this is what our treasured local meteorologists predicted as I am without television at the current time. Regardless, I was impressed and can only hope we get a similar storm later today. It seems iffy, but it also seems possible. Just like my chances at romance.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

The Games of Video & Heartbreak

Before I get to the fun stuff, a moment of silence if you would. All is not roses and reach arounds. Stacey Donaldson, a decent enough meteorologist who always gave me up slope, is being shown the door over at CBS 4. Those bastards. It is uncommon in this life to get a combination of naughty librarian and meteorologist in one tidy, attractive package. Naughty librariometeorologists are very rare in nature and News 4 should be investigated for what may or may not be a violation (or violations) of the Endangered Species Act of 1973, which states: "A species is considered endangered if it is in danger of extinction throughout all or a significant portion of its range." I don't see any other naughty librariometeorologists taking refuge in our fair city. Maybe Crystal Egger will start sporting the specs in tribute. That would be nice.

Anyway, Stacey's last day is Friday so tune her in (Tokyo) if you get a chance. She deserves a large final audience.

Now I'm just going to bombard you with weather-related videos . . . some of which I'm sure you've seen, some you may have not have. The guy in the middle two is Jim Kosek, who's exploits should be known to some of you diehard FKSheads. The last one, and most boring, is Kath's forecast for the next couple of days. I'm including it because she specifically predicts 2-4 inches and I want motion picture proof for this one. I just have a feeling.







HT B==> - - - Warmingglow

Monday, January 5, 2009

It's Not a Tomer

Like American children (or so I'm told), the snowflakes falling in the heart of Historic Lower Downtown Denver on Saturday afternoon/evening were obese. But they were also quick. They came and went rapidly and at all hours of the day - like the action at a good whorehouse (or so I'm told). For some, the plump afternoon snow brought feelings of coziness and wonderment. For others, it brought lust and a thirst for bourbon. But it was here for everyone and that's really what counts in the end.

As far as those predictions were concerned, I can give everybody a pass except Tomer and maybe Gaguilera. It's honestly difficult to give them too much shit though because I really have no idea exactly how much snow fell around the Denver Metro area. Downtown, where there is no grass - only body heat and streets - I'd say maybe 11 to 13/16ths of an inch fell. I know because I shuffled through it at 1:43AM Sunday - high on beer, good music and Nuggets victories.

An official FKS weatherspotter, a Mr. Langenbrewer from Littleton, texted me about seven hours later (a bit too early on a Sunday morning I should add) to report only an inch there. I think he used a stick of string cheese to measure, but I can't be sure because there was no photographic evidence of this measurement. But at least he reported it, because no other official FKS weatherspotters did and that, quite frankly, is a little disappointing . . . but also understandable. It's the weekend. People (myself and Langenbrewer excepted) have better things to do than measure snow.


Still, Tomer, you can't just say 0-3 inches. I've thought about his prognostication some more and just become more disgusted with it the more I think about it. It's lazy. I imagine his reasoning is that Metropolitan Denver and its suburbs add up to a rather large geographical area and within that geography are pockets of varying elevation, wind, cement and everything else that might effect levels of measurable snowfall. That's very true, but it's still no excuse. You take the time, Tomer, to study each area (be it the Western Slope, the Northern Suburbs, Pueblo, Peetz, The Highlands, East Colfax, ElBro, etc.) and give accurate predictions for each. That's why you got into the Colorado weather game, isn't it Tomer? To be the best? Well, dammit, be the best. Your bio says you like a challenge! Don't settle for wide-ranging and broad predictions. Strive to achieve perfection . . . or at least to within an inch on either side of it.


Gaguilera - Don't give me that look . . . you know what you did. I saw you on the evening broadcast changing your forecast from a dusting (see previous entry) to 2-4 inches in and around town. You second guessed yourself, sir, and that's a sign of weakness. More than that, you guessed second, and that is simply inexcusable in your profession. Trust your gut - not other meteorologists. Resist peer pressure, Dave! You were right on with your initial forecast yet allowed the opinions of others to alter that keen instinct of yours. For shame.