Hot, Hot Anger Abounds

Jesus . . . look at the utter contempt on her face. She looks genuinely pissed about this Native American summer we're experiencing. She looks like Elin Woods probably did the night she discovered the extent of Tiger's impressive whoring. I think standing in the 9News Back Yard(TM?) in a black blazer during the record heat simply pushed her over the edge. It's really awesome to see. She's taking a stand against mother nature for all us sinners. This aggressive heat will not stand . . . man!


ZOMG! 92 Degrees? How will we ever make it through the day? It was 113 Degrees Fahrenheit in Los Angeles on Monday. Think about that. That's Middle East hot. That's ball-soakingly hot. That's Egger in the sauna hot. Wait . . . where am I going with this? I must be feeling the heat stroke. Wait . . . no . . . that sounds terrible. Here, look at this:



He apparently knew the Barrel Man well and goes by the moniker "Limo Driver." This was during the record heat and after the Broncos unfortunate 27-13 loss to the Colts. I appreciate this gentleman. And he's wearing a denim-like jacket/long sleeve shirt in the boiling afternoon sun. Is he sad? Fuck no. He's happy and hustlin' . . . like we all should be . . . regardless of the temperature.

Speaking of anger, I would be remiss if I didn't tip my cap to the anti-meteorologist rant unleashed by Drew Magary, one of my all time, top five favorite internet personalities. To wit:

Weathermen(women) are the reason your children will become complete pussies when they grow up. No joke. They cancel schools these days if there's a goddamn inch of snow on the ground, and weathermen(women) overhyping storms is part of the reason why. If a weatherman(woman) was shot tomorrow, I would not be sad. I would send the killer a hot post-op tranny to have sex with.

If you're not familiar with Mr. Magary, I hope you become so in the near future.

And a very special thanks to reader and friend of the site Frosty "Jay" Rehmersma for the photos associated with this "story." You're a good man . . . and thorough.

Backstreet's Back

Where are your fucking gloves, Libby? But yes, the ring is very nice.

My weather blogging is coming under fire from critics far and wide . . . and rightly so. Somehow I failed to notice that local meteorological icon Nick "The Occluded Front" Carter ended up moving over to Fox. This happened in June! If you recall, Captain Carter was unceremoniously dropped, like hot puke off a rest stop toilet (*plagiarizing Jeff Johnson*), from 9News back in January for monetary reasons. I thought then, and still do now, that Altieri had something to do with it. But I can't prove that . . . yet. Regardless, Carter is a seasoned veteran and and a good pick-up for Fox . . . at least according to the comments left on a story announcing his switch:

Nice to hear that Nick Carter is back – pilots are great weather forecasters. Nick’s sense of humor has been missed since Channel 9 made the big mistake of letting him go!

Comment by Jen J October 14, 2009 @ 3:19 pm

So glad to see more of Nick Carter on Fox31 weather. He’s one of the best Denver has ever had. Channel 9 made a big mistake letting him go. I hope he stays in Denver the rest of his career.

Comment by Evergreen Grandma October 8, 2009 @ 12:57 pm

In Scottsbluff, NE we get two Denver channels on our cable. I watch #2 because of Nick Carter. He is the best weatherman and I like his calmness in bad weather situations.

Comment by E J October 28, 2009 @ 5:47 am

Hey what happened between Nick Carter and the anchor on last nights broadcast, he didnt know that camera’s were back on and he told Nick Carter he didnt have a future??????

Comment by Ted S December 7, 2009 @ 9:05 am

I think it's clear that Nick is well regarded amongst the elderly, Nebraskans and pilots. And if you stop and think about it for a second, you'll realize that these are the folks most respected in the meteorological community. Why? Because pilots have to understand the weather so they don't kill themselves; Nebraskans who are up at 5:30AM probably farm and greatly depend on weather forecasts; and old people have been around long enough to know who's full of shit and who knows their weather. If I was Nick, I'd be pumped. I'll admit I have a soft spot in my otherwise cold, black heart for Nick. He seems earnest and steady, like the music of Ryan Bingham. And I think his fat man's hat is good shit.

But what about his forecast? Well, like everybody else, he said it's going to be as frosty as Tiger's marriage today. He also said to expect some heavier snow between 1 and 4 in the morning. I just had a look (1:30AM) and can confirm that is snowing, albeit lightly. It's also eight degrees, breezy and painful out there.

I would be remiss if I didn't take a moment and give a Mile High Salute to the Barrel Man (aka Tim McKernan), who sadly passed on to the great unknown Saturday. He was the president de facto of Broncos Country and will be sorely missed. He was awesome in so many ways . . . this being one of them:

And if you're going to the Broncos game on Sunday the 20th, see if you can't get yourself a barrel to wear in tribute.

Roll out the barrels . . . we'll have a barrel of fun,
Flip